The question on everyone’s mind… rather on everyone’s mind
who reads my blog (all one of you including myself) is what the heck am I going
to do with this thing besides send out extremely random and strangely worded
messages about nothing in the guise of a genuine story about everything.
On Tuesday, I left a little message promising something
planned. Tuesday is the day dedicated to
Mars, Roman god of war. Ironically,
Tuesday is also the most hated day on the calendar, falling squarely after
Monday, just to taunt you that the week has just begun, but not yet past
Wednesday, the peaceful middle of the week that promises a coming end. The inverse can be said of
Friday, dedicated to Venus, Roman goddess of love. People love Fridays, and for good
reason. For one, their appetizers are
delicious, and for another, it sits at the tail end of the work week, promising
for much of the American workforce a sweet relief of two days with nothing much
to do but rest and relax.
So my question is “What do you love and why do you love
it?” What makes love such a powerful
feature in art and entertainment? Why
are we so damned enthralled by this strange chemical reaction that causes our
brains to go loopy and our hearts to flutter with despair?
What do I love, you might ask? I love knowledge and wisdom, or as the Greeks
put it, “philo sophia”. So welcome,
friends, to Philosophical Fridays, where I put on my best show as an amateur
philosoph and spill out a bit of my uncouth thoughts on what we do what we do
and why we do it.
What better way to start Philosophical Fridays than with a
look at Aphrodite and her cupidian companion?
First, allow me to present the Oxford Dictionary definition for love, in
case you are confused by the term and have never heard of it before.
Pronunciation: /lʌv/
1) a strong feeling of affection
2) a great interest and pleasure in something
3) [count noun] a person or thing that one loves
4) (in tennis, squash, and some other sports) a score of zero; nil:
It is extremely important to know that last one, should you
ever find yourself in the company of an attractive tennis player. If she starts talking about love, that means
you have zero chance at scoring.
Plato outlined several forms of love in his “Symposium”, a
glorious romp of sexual innuendo and intrigue set in a typical Greek drinking
party. Prepared within its paltry pages,
Plato presents peculiar persuasions of passion.
Try saying that five times fast.
It is also interesting to note some linguistic analysis on love. The Greeks had two different words for such a
thing: Philos and Eros. Philos (see:
philosophy) is a type of dough used in the cooking spinach pie (see: filo
dough). Eros is where our term “erotic”
comes from and was also the Greek name for two separate but similar deities
equated to the Roman Cupid. The Latin
word for love is Amor, curiously Roma backwards. Rome ’s
mythic heritage traces its roots to Trojan hero, Aeneas, son of Aphrodite. It was Paris ’
infatuation with Helen, born of Aphrodite that ultimately destroyed Troy and lead to Rome ’s
creation. One could make the argument
that Rome and
Western Civilization was born from Love, War, and the chaotic affiliation that
drives them. Is it any surprise that the
Latin words for war and beauty (bellum) are one and the same?
The Greeks and Romans both had two separate deities for
love: Aphrodite/Venus and Eros/Cupid.
Aphrodite, born of the testicles of the old god-king Ouranos as they
were plunged into the sea by his son, Kronos, symbolized more general love and beauty. Eros held sway over the sexually erotic. Remember, this guy is Cupid, patron god of
Valentine’s Day. So when you wish
someone a Happy V-Day, you’re really asking to get laid.
Two of the more fascinating forms of love are the familial
and the platonic. Familial love is sort
of a socially mandated appreciation forced on people from the moment they are
old enough to cognate a complete thought (which for some could happen at around
34 years old). You are not expected to
like your family, but you need to love them.
The love for your parents is more an imposed respect found right in the
good ol’ Bible. God’s commandment #5:
Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother. Even in
the ancient times of Biblical insanity (ca. 2012 C.E.) people were harping on
about familial respect. As it is
impossible to love something without actually liking it, as love is born from
affection, then any person who gives you the sort of spiel about disliking yet
loving their family is full of shit.
Platonic love is the kind found between close friends. When you spend and enjoy time with someone,
you eventually develop a bond of mutual affection born out of shared
interest. It is another socially
mandated form of love. Humans are
naturally social and develop packs, much like wild dogs. These packs oft clash with others (see: high
school) so a strong bond of trust is necessary to survive such vicious
encounters.
The last form of love I will speak of is the one you’ve all
been waiting for. Who the hell cares
about bonds of family and friendship?
Let’s talk about sex! Or
romance. Or something. I present first a disclaimer:
As someone who has never experience romantic love and has no
positive feelings on the subject, I will be attacking this with the emotional
maturity of a 25 year old teenager.
“David’s Indefinitive Blog on What Might Happen, Maybe” is not
responsible for any ill effects resulting from continued exposure to this
blog. Continued reading may lead to
rage, frustration, inability to comprehend basic English, and blindness. If you are have a weak stomach or a history
of heart problems, please turn back or consult your physician before
proceeding. Thank you, and have a horrible
day. (By the way, if “horrible and
terrible” are synonyms, and “horror and terror” are synonyms, why are “horrific
and terrific” antonyms?)
Romance. “Roman.” Once again, we turn to those damned Romans
for giving us something we really didn’t need and never knew how to use. <sarcasm>Thank you for the alphabet,
Romans. Like Americans really could
figure that shit out.</sarcasm>
(For my older viewers, we call that HTML.) “C.E.”
I will assume that the tail end of that word means that it was conceived
in the Common Era, also known as Anno Domini, so I will also blame this one on
Christians. In fact, it was conceived by
the post-Roman Christians. Romances were
French tales of knights, fighting for glory, honor, and most importantly
“getting the girl”. Courtly love and
chivalry, the practices of knights at court and at war in wooing women, were
the backbone lessons of these tales. The
idea that a man should act in a certain, respectable manner so as to capture
fair maiden’s heart was conceived and perpetuated in Arthurian literature.
How does any of that apply to today’s world? It doesn’t.
It can’t. I’m not a knight and
neither are you. Acting like one won’t win
you the heart of some fair maiden. Because
there is no some fair maiden. And she
certainly doesn’t have a heart. No, I’m
afraid that the days of basic human morality went out the window with the
internet. When the world got connected,
we realized how much we truly hate each other and just how depraved and
pointless we all really are. <sarcasm>Thank
you Facebook!</sarcasm>
Romance works on a moral level. You feel infatuation for someone so you act in
their interest in the hopes of reciprocation of their infatuation with
yourself. This takes time to accomplish,
and the payoff is next to nothing. In a
world where everything must happen instantly and everyone works for the
pleasure of themselves, romance is not a viable option. Instead, humanity returns to its roots, the psychology
of self-servitude. Humans are unique in
the animal kingdom, having sex not to further the species or even for mere
social interaction, but because it is psychologically pleasing. All mutations in the evolutionary chain are
developed because those who were born with them were benefited by them in the quest
to reproduce, thus passing those traits along to their offspring. That is Darwinian theory at its most
basic. Everything in life is about
reproduction and ensuring that your traits survive. Everything you do in life is about sex. To act against that fact is to act against your
basic humanity and life itself.
I think I’ll stop here for now. Please join me next Friday where I’ll try to
come up with something else to rant about.
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