Fhtagn, my friends.
Welcome to another edition of Cthulhu Fridays where I take a long, hard
look at the madness of the universe and it stares back. In the last two weeks, I have taken you on a
journey into disturbed mind and showed you just how feeble your existence
is. You’re welcome. I explained my version on the nature of
reality and what everything is and exactly why we do it. It all boils down to life is shit and we’re
here to fuck to distract ourselves from how shitty our lives.
But I may have jumped the shark a bit. After basically giving an overall view of
everything, what is left? Nothing. Nothing is left for me to talk about. Can I write an entire essay about
nothing? (Some of you might say I
already have.) What is nothing? What is the nature of nothingness? Take it away, Oxford .
Nothing
Pronunciation: /'nʌθɪŋ/
pronoun
not anything; no single thing:
adjective
having no prospect of progress; of no value:
adverb
not at all
Nothing is not anything.
Who’d’ve thunk it? It’s not
something. It’s not everything. It is nothing. Nothing is a non-corporeal idea used to fill
in the blank space that exists as polar opposite to everything you believe is
there. Anything tangible, if it is, was,
or will be, is the antipodal idea running against the void of nothing. Nothing is an idea. Ideas are essentially big balls of nothing
floating around in your head, screaming to become corporeal objects in real
space. This entire essay was just a
stupid idea in my head which I am now translating into reality via a keyboard
and a word processor.
So what is the biggest idea in the history of mankind, so
hugely, enormously grand that it permeates the popular consciousness across all
social classes on earth? God: it is the
biggest, most conceivable long con in the history of the universe. Every culture on the planet has a god, or
gods, or the idea of god, or even the recalcitrant denial that such a being
should, would, or could exist. For the
sake of argument and time, I am going to stick with the god I know, the
Judeo-Christian behemoth that fought all other gods in some cosmic game show
(probably Wheel of Fortune) long ago and won the right to let his followers act
like they’re more benevolent than everyone else through slaughter and other
acts of violence.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Judeo-Christian deity,
here is a quick history. Some three to
four thousand years ago in the land of
Canaan (now Israel )
on the banks of the Great Sea (now Mediterranean Sea ),
the various Canaanite tribes were a nomadic and polytheistic group of
people. One tribe, located near modern Jerusalem , were staunch
followers of the Canaanite war god, Yaweh.
Being a “war” deity, Yaweh demanded a lot of war and violence and stuff,
and the proto-Jerusalemites were happy to oblige. They conquered the other tribes, vanquished
their gods, and gave Yaweh all of their powers until at last, he was the only
god, king of kings, lord of the universe, and all that. It was only later that cosmic irony decided
to plant the “City of Peace ”
right on their home turf. In order to
distance themselves from their vanquished brethren and absolve them of blood,
the last of the Canaanites rewrote their history, claiming to have hailed from
the far off land
of Babylon
After many thousands of years, the God of the Jews has been
absconded, metamorphosed, and mutilated, but he’s never quite gotten over that
whole “god of war” phase from his pernicious teenage years and those who
worship him continued to wage war and shed blood in “his name”.
I have two separate theories on the nature of god. The first involves quantum physics and a
massive amount of tachyons. The second
is a bit more subtle. As we all know, in
a macrocosm, time moves in a liner fashion with causes always preceding
effects. This brings into question two
things. A) What caused the beginning of
the universe and B) if god created the universe, what created god? Can something simply exist in eternity? I’ve already explained how Yaweh was
gradually changed into God, so was there something preceding him?
Gods were concepts that man created long ago to explain
natural phenomena that he was not yet scientifically equipped to explain. Why does the sun rise each day? Why does it rain? Why do I get an erection in the morning? For these answers and more, please consult
Ra, Thor, and Aphrodite respectively. A
single God born from a pantheon of gods having amalgamated them into his being
should not be able to exist before his conception. That’s where ideas and nothingness come into
play. Human ideas are extremely powerful
things. They can turn nothing into
something, as I previously demonstrated by typing a few words onto a
keyboard. The brain is an electrical
apparatus that constructs thoughts by using carefully controlled electron
bursts. Thus, your thoughts actually
exist in some fashion on a quantum level.
In quantum physics (and here it gets really technical, so if your nose
starts bleeding, please excuse yourself), subatomic particles (such as the
electrons in your brain) act outside the normal realm of what we perceive in
the macrocosmic world. Effects can
precede or run adjacent to the causes the sparked them. All cultures have a concept of god and with
the popular practice of monotheism in the world, the majority believe or
acknowledge the idea that there is a single god or vehemently dispute that same
fact, ironically throwing fuel onto the fire simply by acknowledging that such
an idea exists. The collective conscious
of humanity essentially constructs God at the dawn of time simply so that the
universe will come into existence. Man
creates God in the past so that the universe can begin and man can himself be
created. I’ve never liked that
explanation for things because it is far too complicated and postsupposes that
we are to blame for creating a faulty product.
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche famously wrote, “Got
ist tot.” Translated into English, this phrase
reads, “God is dead.” Religion was
created by man to have a twofold purpose on people’s lives: A) to govern
society with a strict moral code and B) to dispel the insecurities people have
about death. Gods, who were already
maintaining natural law, got caught up in the whole thing and began overseeing
religion as well. So long as each of us act
through our own moral code, follow the rule of law, and laugh in the face of
death, as man’s understanding of the world around him becomes clearer, gods will
be needed to answer for less and less mysteries. Man will kill his gods through the power of
science and wisdom, relegating them to the stuff of legend and lesser dreams.
However, as the old gods leave us and return to the firmament, what new
horrors will fill the void they leave behind?
Ia! Ia! Shub Niggurath!
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